- Heythem's Letter
- The 10 Most Important Questions To Ask Yourself
The 10 Most Important Questions To Ask Yourself
"The Thing Which You Need Most Will Be Found Where You Least Want To Look" - Carl Jung
Introspection is uncomfortable. That’s why we are so good at avoiding. But it’s like in the Matrix - if you’re willing to look, you’ll be free.
Like a flashlight in the dark, they’ll help us find what we need to know about ourselves.
So, to better understand ourselves, we need to ask ourselves some critical questions. I did some introspection and came up with the 10 most important questions we need to ask ourselves.
By asking myself these following questions, I started to understand myself better, and my mental health improved a ton.
What Are The Questions You Need To Ask Yourself?
Just a heads up: It’s gonna be uncomfortable at times. But discomfort is necessary for growth.
1. Am I Showing Integrity To Myself?
Integrity is to do what you said you’ll do. It’s the bridge between your words and actions.
Integrity is also a way to build confidence. The more you follow through with your promises to yourself, the more confidence you’ll build.
So ask yourself: Am I sticking to my word? Am I sticking to my goals? Am I doing what I said I’d do?
Building integrity is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You’ll build trust in yourself - that’s something only a few people have.
2. Am I Treating My Body With Care?
This one is talked about a lot. But it’s still not often done and is so crucial for being mentally healthy.
If we’d truly understand how important it is how crucial it is to treat our body with care, we’d do it.
Our bodies are an essential part of who we are. Just like a car, your body needs the right fuel and maintenance to run properly.
Are you giving it what it needs? Are you moving your body enough? What kind of food are you feeding yourself—nutritious meals that give you energy or processed, sugary stuff that weighs you down?
If your body is unhealthy, your mind is unhealthy. That’s a fact. So give your mind&body what it deserves.
3. Why Am I Lazy?
Many of us are lazy, but we never ask ourselves why we are lazy. Laziness is a form of resistance.
We tend to be lazy when we’re not excited about our day, work, or life. But that’s not all. Sometimes, laziness is a way of holding ourselves back because some of us feel unworthy of success or happiness. Sound familiar?
So what can you do? Start noticing when you feel lazy. What’s the trigger?
Is it a specific task, a particular time of day, or maybe certain situations? This sheds light on hidden fears or beliefs that might be holding you back.
4. Am I Speaking To Myself With Respect?
How do you talk to yourself? If you’re like most of us, you’re very harsh to yourself. We often say things to ourselves that we’d never say to anyone else. And that’s not good.
Talking to yourself with respect and love doesn’t mean sugar-coating things or deceiving yourself. It’s about being honest but also being kind and supportive. Think about it this way: How would you talk to your best friend if they were in your shoes? That’s how you should talk to yourself.
Talk to yourself with care and full support. You don’t need to fake positivity, but you don’t have to be cruel, either. Next time you catch yourself in negative self-talk, stop and ask: “Would I say this to my best friend?” If not, then it’s time for a change in tone.
5. Am I Showing My True Self To Others?
This one can be cruel to realize. Most of us are not ourselves in front of others. Most of us are holding up a facade.
So ask yourself: Are you expressing your true feelings and opinions to the world? Are you saying what you really want to say? Do the people around you know the real you, or are they just seeing a version you think they want to see?
Hiding your true self can lead to many mental health issues, including depression and social anxiety. It’s like your body is telling you, “Hey, I’m tired of you pretending to be someone else.” Pretending to be someone you’re not is like running a marathon nonstop. It’s exhausting and not sustainable.
What’s even worse is that when you’re not being yourself, you’re essentially telling yourself that the real you isn’t lovable or valuable enough.
It’s not only okay to be yourself, it’s necessary. Your authenticity is your superpower. Use it.
6. What Am I Most Afraid Of?
Fear is such a great emotion. It tells us where we need to shift our focus. Where we need to look at. Where we need to improve on.
So, what are you most afraid of? It could be anything—failing, being judged, losing someone, being alone—the list is endless.
Can you name your top three fears? Are they based on past experiences? Are they fears of the unknown? Or are they linked to self-doubt?
Understanding the ‘why’ behind your fears is crucial for overcoming them. It’s OK to be afraid, but it’s not OK to let fear control your life.
7. Who Are My Surroundings?
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
Who are those people for you? Do they want you to grow? Do they support you? Are they good for you?
It’s easy to underestimate how much the people around us influence our mindset, our behavior, and our self-perception.
But the truth is, they make a big difference in our lives, so it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who lift you up, encourage you, and support your growth.
If you find that someone in your life is constantly bringing you down or holding you back, it might be time to rethink that relationship.
8. Who Inspires Me?
Have you ever watched a movie, read a book, or followed someone on social media who made you think, “Wow, I want to be more like them”? These are your inspirations. They could be celebrities, athletes, authors, or even fictional characters.
Now, ask yourself: Why do they inspire me? Is it their confidence, kindness, resilience, or passion? Whatever it is, there’s probably a reason why you’re drawn to them.
By introspecting on that question, you’ll discover the person you want to become.
The traits we admire in others are the ones we want to develop in ourselves.
9. Am I Taking Responsibility?
This one can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s absolutely crucial. Are you taking responsibility for your life? Or are you constantly blaming others or circumstances for your situation? The hard truth is this: You are where you want to be.
This isn’t about beating yourself up over past mistakes or current situations. No. It’s about understanding that you have control over your life. If something’s not right, you have the power to change it.
If everything were always someone else’s fault, then you’d be just a victim. But when you take responsibility, you take control. You realize that, yes, life can be tough, and no, it’s not always fair. But you also realize you have the strength and power to shape your life.
So, identify the aspects of your life where you’re not taking responsibility and take accountability for them. Be aware that if you’re not where you want to be, it’s your fault.
10. Do I Like My Daily Activities?
Think about your daily life. Do you like it? Your day-to-day life should bring purpose and fulfillment into your life. If that’s not the case, you need to change it.
So ask yourself: Are you working towards something? Are you striving for your goals? Does your daily life excite you? If not, it might be time for a change.
Our daily activities aren’t just tasks to be checked off a list. They’re opportunities for growth, for joy, for satisfaction. They’re what make up our life. If they’re not making you happy, what’s the point?
Thank you for reading The Heythem Letter. This post is public so feel free to share it.
As my favorite Psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, said: “That which you most need will be found where you least want to look.”
Yes, these questions are not easy to ask yourself, but that’s exactly why they’re avoided.
But avoiding those questions will bring a life full of dissatisfaction and misery. We need to learn to be honest with ourselves. To confront the things we don’t want to face.
The process can be challenging, I won’t deny that. But the alternative—not asking these questions—will lead to a far tougher path.
Take care of yourself, and remember: Reach out if you need somebody to talk to <3.